Most feedback destroys relationships.

Yours included.

You say something "constructive." They get defensive. Nothing changes except now they avoid you.

Here's what I learned from studying Adam Grant's research: One sentence makes people 40% more receptive to criticism.

19 words. That's it.

❝

"I'm giving you these comments because I have very high expectations, and I'm confident you can reach them."

(I've used this with my team 200+ times. It works.)

Your brain hears feedback as an attack. Fight or flight kicks in. Learning stops. But these 19 words flip the script. You're not judging them. You're investing in them. You believe they can win.

The result? They lean in instead of shutting down.

Skip this framework and watch what happens: Your team stops improving. Your kids stop listening. Your spouse stops caring about your opinion. (Ask me how I know.) The opportunity cost is massive. Every conversation becomes a missed chance to unlock someone's potential.

Master this, and people will ask for your feedback. Actually implement your suggestions. Thank you for being honest.

I use this with everyone now. My team. My family. Even my barber. It works because it's true. You DO have high expectations. You ARE confident they can reach them. Otherwise, you wouldn't waste your time.

Most people make feedback feel like punishment. Smart people make it feel like a promotion.

Pick one person you need to give feedback to this week. Start with those 19 words. Watch what happens.

Conrad

PS - I learned this after destroying dozens of relationships with "honest feedback." Don't be me.